lost

school has been great for the past 2 weeks. math going along well so far with trigonometry. math is fun now. if this continues, i think i'll be able to get my A1 :) humans is getting boring because weather & climate is just dull, but all the notes we copied are just sufficient for answering, which is great. english is just getting more and more dreadful day by day... same goes to poa. chem test was easy, and mr lee is a boring teacher because he just has this monotonous voice that puts people to sleep... and i have him as my bio teacher too so its just zzz..

for the past few days i've been dreading school. i have nothing to look forward to everyday in class. classes used to be fun and enjoyable but not anymore. i have no one to talk to in class because both tablemates are just.... and my row is always the quiet row. and the other ends of the classroom will always be noisy. i feel like i have to fit in to be able to talk to someone. i have to always be the one to initiate every other conversation. but sometimes i feel like i shouldnt, because if i do that some people may feel what i feel and it may even make them dislike me (?) i've been thinking about this everyday and i feel like i somehow need to write it because i dont know who to talk to. sharing my problems to people who already have problems is just adding on their burden so i keep things to myself.  but i'll always stop and think about how i feel in class and i feel like i really really need to trash things out. i have nobody particularly hate, but its just that loneliness feeling inside me that i dont wish to show it out. many times i've been walking alone by myself in that path with other people... i always have to initiate conversations. am i too boring? and sometimes when i want to talk to somebody there will always be someone at his/her table and i'll just turn away and rest on my table because i know i shouldnt interrupt their conversations. but if i dont, who can i talk to? i'm always on second thoughts before approaching someone because if i interrupt theit conversation that person might be left out as well, and i will feel bad. but i dont want to feel this way anymore, but there's nothing i can do.... what should i do.